How to Fail Well

At this point in our life we have made plenty of mistakes, but are going to make many more. Sometimes failure comes into our life when we least expect and its never part of our plan. However, I have learned over my many failures to accept the failure, learn by it and to do better the next time. Here are my tips handle failure.

1. Respond immediately. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, “own it” with those involved as soon as possible. Delaying only tempts you to put it off and rationalize why it’s not that big of a deal to share. If others don’t see you owning your mistakes they will question your credibility.
2. Be crystal clear. Be direct and clear about the mistakes you make. If avoiding accountability is bad, half-owning a mistake wrapped in excuses is pathetic. Don’t beat around the bush or sugar coat the issue. Clearly identify the mistake and its implications. This will help bring people up to speed on the issue and enlist their support in what should be done next.
3. Share the lesson learned. Failure is a wasted experience if nothing is learned. Learning a personal lesson is good, but teaching others from your mistakes is even better. It will take some humility on your part, but great leaders know that it’s much more effective to lead out of vulnerability with all of our imperfections than seeking to manage a façade of leadership perfection.
4. Be ready for feedback. Just because you’ve taken responsibility doesn’t mean that people will not want to further process what has transpired. Be prepared for people to share their feedback. Resist the urge to be defensive. A wonderful proverb states that “a soft answer turns away wrath.” It is difficult for people to pour out their wrath on someone that takes feedback with humility. Remember, if you’re committed to “owning it,” this is part of the process.
5. Move forward. You are going to fail, period. It’s part of the job description. Pick yourself up and move on. Earlier in my life I would be paralyzed by my mistakes. It would take me 48 hours or so to stop thinking about the failure. High capacity people don’t have that kind of time to be wasting by kicking themselves. Keep in mind you’re modeling that you can fail, learn, and move forward.

The sad reality is that many people run from owning their mistakes because they don’t want to look weak. The irony is that this very avoidance of accountability screams weakness. Strength in individuals comes from integrated character at every level. Next time something doesn’t go as planned remember these five tips and help better yourself by owning your failure.